Wedding Day

Well today is mah wedding day... or was suppose to be. So what to do what to do hmmm...... I think i'll go for a swim and see what fish are out there in the big ole sea..... a little shopping and see what pretties I can find..... and then a club or 2..... hmmmm sounds like a mahveloid plan to me!

No sitting at home thats for sure. Not unless I have some friends over and we go out to ride the jetskis or swim in the pool..... ooooo that would be fun!

A partay? ooooo i'm liking this idea too!

How To Get Over Your Ex 101

As y'all know Jackson is a fucking liar.... so what did I do? Went out and found his replacement of course!

As you can see Jack I have nooooo problem finding men... whats that??? awwww still crying? boo fuckin hoo cry me a river because you are the only one doing it. It's for sure I'm not crying i'm too busy with other..... things *smiles* And it hasn't even been a WEEK since you were gone.... i'll be dam! Who is missing who now?

WOW!

Had the most AMAZING DAY! oh em GEE!!!!

One of my (and to quote my bff Scotti here) "blasts from the pasts" named Laimis called me up today and wanted me to come over and see his 'rock in the sky' build. So i'm thinking WHAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!!? yeah thats exactly what i said lolz. Even after seeing it I'm still not quite sure why he has this huge prim up in the air but to each his own I say. Apparently its like a skybox but supposedly its a rock w a cuddle rug in it.... and 'cuddle' we did RAAAAAAWR!!!! Talk about one smexy man nom nom nomily nom nom mmmmmmmm

OMG TY JACKSON for freeing me!!!!! omg omg omg

I know y'all are like who the hell is he? OK Laimis was the guy before Jackson that I wanted and he had a gf at the time. Lemme tell you he is the sweetest thing! He is my mentor on Pandora.... yes I know what y'all are saying..... dont lose your head Mel.... *rolls eyes* if he would have just got his butt in gear and been rid of that girl faster there would have never EVER EVEN HAVE BEEN a Jackson in the first place! I was actually waiting for Laimis to get off of work and come dance with me the night I met Jackson..... *sigh* had he just kicked the ex out faster jeez..... OK breathe take it slow and dont act a fool.... he is just a guy Mel (just a guy wha?!?!?).....yeah yeah yeah...... I hear Scotti talking in the back of my head LOL.... she knows me too well......

Choices

Many of you are not going to agree with me when I say this and probably aren't going to believe me either. Y'all all know what the person I have known as Jackson Volotenko (aka Xerian Riaxik, JacksonJ Greggan, Jorge Sabahi (his kid avi), Speedy Gustafson and we also suspect he is Santirix Avedon but can't prove it yet) has done and yes I had no idea he was doing any of this to me or any of these other people but even tho as upset as I am, I have chosen to be the better person and forgive him of this instead of harboring anger and resentment inside and making myself just like he is. I have told him that I forgive him and he still wanted to fight with me but I wouldn't do it. He will have to live with the fact that he has hurt several people and now EVERYONE will know what he has done!

It's not for me to be concerned with what to 'do' with/to you... oh no.... i dont have to. Karma will deal with you and like they say, she is a bigger bitch than I am. I've seen it happen and I fully believe your day will come just as this did. You really need to think hard about what has happened and decide if you are going to tell the others.... and yes we know there are others....

It was a choice that I made to be with you Jackson.... I don't NEED you and never did. There are too many people that love me and I love them. You are just another guy to me now and will be nothing more than a memory fading in time to nothing. It was my choice to love you I didn't have to love you and you took my love for granted....

If you think I shed a tear over you and am sitting here hurting you are very wrong!

You were gone yesterday AM and by noon i was in the arms of another man. It is no problem for me to find a man and I know this. I'm not being cocky it's the God's honest truth. Y'know why? It's b/c I love to have a good time, I'm a fun person, confident, sexy as hell, intelligent, and you know I can give you what you want and make you come begging back for more. It's a freakin gift! Some people use it for good and some for evil... you have it too and chose to use your gift and do evil with it.

If you think I was with you for your money... I made $1000L in an hour doing what I love to do naturally and no its not on my back. I get a helluva lot more than that for sex tyvm.

You were a choice that I made and you chose to throw me away so now i'm choosing to have nothing to do with you again....So in the words of Anne Robinson...... "Good Bye!"

My idiot family

Ever have one of those days when you wake up and want to start drinking and never stop? OK maybe not but thats what I'm fighting today.....

My RL family has decided to have a garage sale today.... sell off ALL of my Mammaw's things..... and didn't say one word to me until 2:00 yesterday afternoon. This after they had been over there for weeks and now everything is gone. Understand why they cleaned up but dammit it would have been NICE to have been told wtf was going on. Not just have it done behind my back like this....

I haven't been over there since the stroke so I guess its partially my fault but that bitch Becky who is NOT my relative mind you was in my Mammaw's house. she was only suppose to be there on a temp basis til she got back on here feet after the dumb bitch ran her husband off.... was I surprised? pfffft no. This was 3yrs ago.... temp situation my ass! So had I gone over, I'd be in jail. Damn bitch destroyed the entire house so much that they had to rip the dam carpet out just so my cousin could move in next week. I'm perfectly fine w my cousin being there but that Becky bitch should have shown some fuckin respect IMHO and taken better care of the place. So had I gone over there before now I'd lose my shit and God knows what I would have done. My uncle was being nice giving that damn bitch a place to stay. Had he not had a stroke right after my Mammaw did that Becky bitch wouldn't have been living there as long as she did. Hells bells she woulda been out on her ass long time ago cos my uncle puts up w BS less than i do! Its a good thing he isn't in his right mind b/c lawd knows what he would be doing now had he seen his momma's house all messed up like that. I'm glad my momma aint here to see this shit omg omg omg..... no respect whatsoever!

There are no plants growing in my Mammaw's beautiful flowerbed; the yard that use to be so fertile and green is dead; and every single room had to be painted..... makes me wonder wtf that Becky bitch did to the fuckin walls.... so much they had to paint them all. The dumb Becky bitch even took a HUGE ass mirror and screwed it into the fuckin wood paneling! How stupid do you have to be?!?!?! Totally ruined it and its not repairable b/c the wood is from 1964 you dont find that anymore in houses. They let her tear up the fridge and freezer where my Mammaw use to keep all of our food from the garden. The washer and dryer THAT I BOUGHT when I only lived there 6mos is only 5 yrs old and the dumb Becky bitch tore that up too. Guess she thought it would be fun to throw some wild ass party b/c the ceiling fan in the main room doesn't even work. A ceiling fan? come the fuck on.... you are given a place to stay RENT FREE so bitch why the fuck did you tear it up? Did she offer to replace any of the shit she tore up? OH HELL NO of course not! so my cousin who doesn't have a job and is str8 outta college is having to get shit fixed just so she can live there. Prolly is a good thing I didn't see the real mess that Becky bitch made. My aunt said it was bad but i had no idea... or maybe just didnt want to realize how bad "bad" was.... OMG that Becky bitch showed her face to pick up some mail and it was all I could do to sit on the couch the 5min she was there and grip the dam seat w/o getting up and slapping the shit outta her. God dont' lemme catch the bitch w/o my fam present.....

This is all on top of the fact that all my Mammaw's stuff is gone and they are selling it off FIVE DAYS after my Momma's bday..... WITHOUT ASKING ME if I wanted anything of hers to remember her. I dont want anything except her recipes and the dutch oven all our lil asses sat on as kids b/c we didnt have a high chair. I would LIKE to have had the few things my other bitch cousin Lynette (not the one moving in) didnt take of my great gma's.... dont get me started on that bitch omg...... another person that needs to be shot..... they should line her and that bitch Becky up b/c I want first aim please! I disowned Lynette when she divorced my uncle..... yes my mother's first cousin married my daddy's brother..... welcome to fuckin MS.... bite me bitches! Make fun i just dont give a shit especially today!

It just would have been nice to have had something of my great aunt's that the dam bitch didnt sell off too. It wasn't valuable to anyone else but ME apparently...... and they didn't ask one fuckin time until yesterday. OMG I was ready to kill.... can't do nothing about it now tho b/c the sale started this AM. I'm going to lose my shit again i see this coming.... idk if my marriage is going to last this time we have been thru so much already when momma passed. saying i'm 'angry' doesn't begin to even cover it and i have no outlet to let it all go.

so what do i do? i have no idea but i am shaking i'm so furious w them! They told me in the place I went to back when Momma passed that i needed to journal when i got mad so hells bells thats what i'm doin and hate to tell them so called experts this shit aint making me feel better. Its all i can do not to get in my fuckin car and drive to the store and drink til next year. TG the store is closed.....

All is right with the world... for now :P

yesterday i had an unwanted intruder in mah bed... not the first time its been a stranger just the first time someone has taken it upon themselves to be invited to our house. Which I promptly UN-invited!

Had no idea who this person was or why they hell they thought it was OK to come into our house. Claims they were a noob and looking for a place to rent..... yeah right... sure you are buddy! And i'm the Queen of freakin England too..... dam the ole lady is lookin good for her age hahahaha!

If it had just been once I would have half ass tried to believe him but no.... it was TWICE! Remind me why i need a man again? oh yeah thats right... i do love sex *giggles* yep yep yours truely didn't have a single man online to come to her rescue when this azzhat came over uninvited. Then alla sudden its like yall came out of the woodworks and popped on at one time... was there like a dood convention/meeting or something? For reals it was that funny how they all came on at once hahaha

So I called Alex and he came over since he was the first online and i was freaking out how to get the sumbetch to go away. So after Alex made sure all was right with the world and we talked for a few I went on down to the store and got me a security system LMAO. Sumbetch wont be coming back! *giggles*

Just pisses me off that they came over in the first place and now instead of using my L to get wedding stuff I had to get a security system.... grrrr... azzhat i shoulda hit him with my bat

*sigh*

Its not often that i get upset w folks..... yeah i know yall are like whaaaat? total BS and you point to my previous posts... but no really upset i mean. I had asked SPECIFICALLY to go to Vicksburg, eat b'fast at the Sunday brunch at Ameristar, and go to the outlet mall to try to find me some jeans which i desperately need. Pretty dang specific what I was wanting to do today.

I'm told you men need us to be specific for us to get what we want outta you and i'll be dam if thats not exactly what i did.

So I leaned over and tell the hubby what i was wanting to do...... ask if he would take me b/c I can't exactly go by myself....

His reply.... "but we can't b/c you went out last night".... excuse the FUCK OUTTA ME! I haven't been out in over 3mos... literally not out of the damn house! I've been cooped the fuck up and haven't been a single place except for my doctor's offices. Haven't been to Walmart, not the grocery store, out to eat dinner, the mall.... well OK with the exception of one store... in and out to get shooz so that i can half ass walk.... i do mean NOTHING! I've asked NUMEROUS times to go do something besides sit at this fuckin house watching TV and doing absoufuckinlutely NOTHING. Saying I have cabin fever is one of the biggest understatements of the year! We can't go on vacation.... took 5yrs to go on one from our honeymoon until last year so scuz the fuck outta me if I want to go somewhere on my mother's bday so that i dont have to sit the fuck in this bed another damn day! I'm so furious right now I can't even look at him much less be in the same room.

So tonight he asks me if i'm alright.... OH MY GOD..... i got up and left the room. Haven't even talked to him since this AM when i asked about going..... don't plan on it anytime soon neither. I went out last night..... oh my lawd WRONG ANSWER! and he wonders why he never gets any jezus Captain Obvious.... maybe b/c i can't stand to be in the room with you???

So saying "i'm pissed" doesn't even scratch the surface... and on my mother's bday too.

He tells me things are going to change, that we are going to be different. Well i'll believe that when I see it b/c right now it aint been different. We WERE getting better but dammit that just made all those good times take 10 steps backwards.... *sigh* and on my mother's bday

Christina aguilera Hurt + lyrics

Happy Birthday to the greatest woman I've ever known.... They say time heals all but it hasn't healed my heart from losing you. Know you are looking down from heaven today. Miss you and love you much Mama! ♥

No Time for Bullshit

I'm in a loooooovely mood today ppl jeez idk why folks are even my friend. The Queen B is on her throne thats for sure and prolly pissin folks off left n right. Have a migraine that is kicking my ass up one side and down the other. Haven't slept in 2 days and I'm not in the mood for SL..... all the freakin random NC's..... dont miss those i dont if i had half a brain i'd cut them off. Then the other half would be all mad b/c id miss all my free shit *sigh* Ever piss yourself off like this? LOL prolly not i'm just a sad case.... yes this i know.

In one of those leave me the fuck alone and you might make it out w all your arms and legs kinda moods.... yeah they will make it out alive..... but only if you are careful. I suck at being a friend LMAO ok just when i get in these moods... i blame mother nature yall blame whomever you want. There is no way to cheer me up i'm miserable and im perfectly FINE wallowing in my misery for awhile til I feel better. dam ima moody bitch hahaha yes this i know too but at least i wont stay here unlike some bitches who never leave.

All ima say is talk to God or whomever your higher power is b/c thats why i'm like i am.... can't help it when i have a migraine from the PIT OF HELL and i'm hot as all get out. It was 83 effin degrees INSIDE MY HOUSE today! EIGHTY THREE oh yeah it was! That adds to my bitchy mood.... i hate being hot. I'm under 2 dam fans and the non-existant so called air conditioner that we have is blowing directly on me..... doesn't help. I even went and wet a cloth to put on my face. Do ya think that helped? nooooooo..... so i'm wallowing big time today/night oh yes i am. Good thing Jack is on vacay. I'd hate to miss seeing him and be wallowing in my misery instead. that would suck ass worse than just me being miserable alone. Whats funny is my hubby when he came home.... asked me what i wanted to eat..... went and got it and then quietly shut the door to our bedroom. He is trained omg he is so trained..... but at least i have a man who knows when to fuckin leave me alone and still loves me even tho i'm a bitch.

Now yall know why I married him.... i'm not easy to love but when I do love omg guaranteed its going to be whole heartedly not none of this half ass bullshit. OMG i am sitting here writing this post and the mofo is talking to his dam self. Been going on an HOUR.... dude if all you get is "yes" and "uh huh" "k" and "no" hello take a fuckin hint! No i dont want to go out w/you jeezus how dense are you? *sigh* yes this is going to be a long ass night......

YES!!!

Dear Imelda Whitfield,

You have received a Second Life partner proposal from Jackson Volotenko.
Please visit the link below to view the proposal:

https://secure-web36.secondlife.com/my/account/partners.php

This proposal will expire on Monday, July 12, 2010.

★ Anyone can catch your eyes,★

★ but it takes someone special,★

★ to catch your heart.. ★

ღ

Happy Birthday America!

As y'all know its the 4th of July and like the rest of folks around here I'm celebrating w some BBQ (burgers, dogs and ribs) along w some ice cold wallamelon mmmmmm yummy! Watching the Boston Pops another tradition in my house. This year they couldn't have picked a better guy to ask to headline. I thought it was awesome when they asked Aerosmith but omg Toby has topped that and gone beyond 'just a great show" he is unfreaking believable! Makes me so proud to be an American! There aren't words to express how grateful I am to all those past and present for getting up every single day and doing what they do just to make this the greatest nation in the entire world! THANK YOU!

Toby Keith - American Soldier